Sage and Sass

Sage and sassy wanderings of a curious mind.

The motorcycle and the cell phone or the idiot on the bike. June 3, 2011


Ok so yesterday I am driving on a major roadway in town.  I pull up to a stop light and get in the left hand turning lane to wait for the light to change.  I notice in front of me a young guy in his mid twenties, I would say, on a motorcycle of the crotch rocket variety.  You know the kind where you lean forward to reach the handles that require both hands to properly maneuver the bike.  And safely maneuver the bike I might add. I notice he has his head tilted at an odd angle.

My 13 yr old,

who is in the back seat, says, “please tell me that guy is not talking on his cell phone while on a motorcycle?!?”  I take a closer look and sure enough, he is.  He has both hands on the handles and has the phone tucked into his neck talking hands free.  So I am thinking, surely he doesn’t think he is gonna be able to keep talking when the light changes and he has to accelerate?  That phone is gonna go flying.  Shamelessly I am looking forward to seeing this scenario play out.  

Now let me just take a moment to update you on my stance before I lambaste this guy.  I have been known to talk on the cell while driving.  I don’t make a habit of it and I really try not to at all unless stopped at a light and then I get off quickly.  In fact my brother yelled at me just this past week for talking to him while I was driving.  I have not done it since, thank you very much brother o’mine!  So I am not any kind of fanatic about it.  But Oprah would be proud that I never text while driving.  I do believe in safety first.

Anyway back to Mr. crotch rocket.   At this point, myself and my two girls are eagerly watching to see what is going to happen next.  Let’s just say it wasn’t pretty and would have been down right comical had there not been so much danger involved.  The traffic light cycles through the green and red and gives us the green arrow to turn.  You can see the light bulb dawn even through the back of his head as he realizes he will not be able to accelerate and keep the phone lodged firmly on his shoulder.  In one fluid motion, well, fluid is giving him too much credit, he actually lurched into the intersection and proceeded to drive with one hand on the bike and one on the phone.

Have you ever driven a motorcycle?  This is not the smartest move.  But amazingly he continues to do it.  Even when he has trouble keeping it upright, trouble keeping it in one lane and can apparently only allow himself to do a fraction of the speed limit.  Bumper to bumper traffic getting extremely frustrated at this guy because they are stuck behind him and afraid to go around because he keeps drifting into the other two lanes.  Are you kidding me?  Now I am obsessed with watching how long this guy can keep this up.  You know it’s like a train wreck, you just can’t look away.  He did actually drive like this through three major intersections with all his fellow drivers throwing looks that could kill in his direction.  He is completely oblivious.  Must have been some phone call.

I am sorry to say I have no idea the final outcome or how long he stayed on the phone because at the fourth light I had to turn.  As I waited for a clear path I watched this crazy man bob and weave thru traffic never taking the phone from his ear, thinking…If I weren’t driving and could have gotten a picture on my cell phone of this guy, it would so be getting emailed to Oprah!  Boy would he be in trouble!!!

😉 Slainte’, ~Sam                              

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