Sage and Sass

Sage and sassy wanderings of a curious mind.

Purple hair, piercings and all things punk, or “yeah, that’s my daughter, what about it?” June 4, 2011


I would like to take a moment to implore everyone everywhere to open your minds. Just a little, not enough to damage your delicate sensibilities but just enough to see another side to things.  Come along with me if you will to an experience I have had the misfortune to encounter many times in the last few years…

My little clan and I were treating ourselves to a much anticipated dinner out.  Chinese I believe it was…nom nom nom.  We were all in good spirits, not unusual for us, but we were especially enjoying each others company on this evening.  We rock!  We headed into one of our fave places, placed our order and chose our seats.

I am a bit claustrophobic when it comes to seating.  My family is fabulously accommodating in this area, so they all waited for me to choose my seat and then they settled in theirs.  Naturally I chose to sit in an outside row of the place, giving me a birdseye view of any stealth attacks coming my way.  Those of you who suffer from this ailment know exactly what I mean and those of you who don’t…well, just be thankful and keep reading.

My little Doobie, my 13 yr old, was seated across from me.  She is a gem.  Straight A student, polite, compassionate, funny, talented.  Oh so talented, she is currently writing a couple of books, writes songs and poems in nothing flat, is an excellent artist and has style and moxy oozing from her pores.  She makes the world a better place and anyone who has the chance to spend any time at all talking with her comes away awed and smiling.  I am not exaggerating.  Ask anyone who knows her.

Now, I was an extremely creative teenager myself.  I liked to express myself in my clothing.  Doesn’t everyone?  I mean you wear high heels because of how they feel or maybe you are a jeans and converse type cuz they show off your casualness and athletic ability.  The point is, most people dress according to their own personal style and personality right?  I however grew up in a very different time and was not allowed to fully express my inner creativity outwardly.  As a result, I am pretty lenient when it comes to my kids wardrobes and style.  I have rules, no indecent showing of the assets above or below, must look as close to their age as possible, and no offensive clothing.

And this is where society and myself come to the parting of the minds.  Apparently I am not as easily offended and the rest of the world is.  LOL  C’mon people, purple hair, fishnets, combat boots and piercings are not offensive.  You do not have to like them, my daughter is not looking for your approval.  Nor is she attacking you or society as a whole when she steps out as her punky self.  She is merely putting on her personality, strutting her stuff, living out loud.  I applaud her for it.  I even like most of what she wears.  When I look at her all dressed to go, I just see little bits of her personality rising to the top so to speak.  I can tell how sassy she feels or how tired or sulky, all depending on how she presents herself.  If you take a minute to look around you, you might find you can do this with the people you know as well.

On this particular outing she was feeling very sassy and was wearing maroon combat boots, ripped up fishnets, long cut off shorts, a cut up t-shirt, metal studded suspenders hanging down and a lip ring.  I believe her hair was purple then and growing out from a faux hawk.  She may have had bows with skulls in her hair as well.  See picture for a visual of her fishnets complete with roller derby pins holding them together.

We are laughing and joking and having a good time when I notice for the fourth or fifth time a woman across the restaurant looking at us in a disgusted manner and gesturing in our direction while making obviously derogatory comments to the gentleman she was sitting with.

At this point I am getting annoyed.  I tried to imagine I was imagining it.  I tried ignoring it.  I tried telling myself she was just ignorant.  Enough already, I looked in her direction and gave her what I hoped was a look that said, do you mind?”  Apparently she didn’t.  She stared right back in a most defiant manner.  Really???  I shook my head and focused back on our little party.  I must insert here that Doobie, handles this much better than I do.  She just laughs it off.  The Usband is getting annoyed but is better at ignoring things than I am.  In the interest of not wasting anymore family time on a rude woman I don’t know, I simply gave her one more look and smiled my biggest smile at her and waved.  She was not impressed.  They left and we had a great evening.

Here’s my question.  We are all guilty of judging people, even those of us that try really hard not to and that includes me.  But could we not try to limit those judgements to something worthy of judgement like, oh I don’t know, actions, or words maybe?  Certainly we can all look past a lip ring can’t we?  Doobie’s is fake BTW, I told you I had rules.  😉  Honestly, look at the two pictures below and tell me what is really the difference between these two girls?

  The one on the left is a straight A student, well loved by her teachers and family.  Trusted by all who know her.  Compassionate and loving.  She is talented and smart and loves animals.  She is funny and loves Jesus.  And guess what?  So does this one…–>>>

So really…what’s the big deal???I like them both, they are both my Doob and I wouldn’t have her any other way!

Slainte’  ~Sam

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