Sage and Sass

Sage and sassy wanderings of a curious mind.

Same sex marriage??? The hell you say! May 10, 2012

Filed under: Gripes...Yipes! — Sage and Sass @ 9:16 am
Tags: , , , , , , ,

I tried to avoid this subject, I really did.  I pressed “LIKE” on the posts that were poignant and non-committal on Facebook.  I respected my pentecostal friends opinions and did not voice my own.  I noted in my head who agreed and disagreed.  I laid in bed last night and felt ashamed.  I mentioned it to my husband while quietly stewing in bed.  And then I woke up this morning.

The first thing my daughter said to me was “Mom, you gotta look at this post.”  What she showed me was a post a very dear teenage friend of ours had written.  It was a simple message about President Obama’s endorsement of same-sex marriage.  His respect for him has risen because of it.  This young man is a normal teen, he get’s into trouble like any other, he spouts off nonsense and gives his fair share of grief.  However, he is well versed in his politics.  He does not take things lightly and he goes looking for factual answers when he has a question.  He does not make decisions lightly.  In the three years I have been away from him I have watched him grow from a boy into a well-rounded, intelligent young man via Facebook.  His mother is like a sister to me.  She has done a wonderful job, often alone, of raising her children.  Today is living proof of that.  As I read his post my daughter answered the question in my head.  Why was she so shocked by his post?

“Now read what his dad wrote.”  She said obviously shocked and distraught.

So I did.  I was appalled by the venom in this man’s posts.  You can imagine.  Every slur he could think of was thrown at his son.  Along with the threat that if he did not stop his nonsense he would disown him as his son.  He felt his son was shaming his name by spouting “this kind of bulls**t”.  When the son asked him “what gave him the right to tell another how to live their life just because he didn’t agree”, the posts became more direct.  He told his son that if he wanted to listen to rap music, that was ok.  If he wanted to shoot guns and ride dirt bikes that was ok, but if he wanted to be a “faggit” (his spelling) then he would dis-own his arrogant little ass in less than a second.  No seed of his was gonna be or support this cause.

At this point the son’s sister asked a question about him disowning his son over it.  She was told “not to start her s**t”.  And this is where I became proud, well more proud, of my young friend.  He very calmly and respectfully told his dad that although he is not gay, he does support the cause and he will not back down.  He said his dad could disown him if he liked but that he would still carry on his name, like it or not.  He said his kids would learn tolerance, how to love their neighbors and be the best people they could be.  He said he was working on this now himself, learning to be a man and not a bigot, racist or homophobe.

The response he got?  “This s**t is not funny at all—and if any of my children were to be gay, they would no longer be my children,,,they would just be another fag”.  My friend tried again.  He said all he was doing was asking people to be kind to each other.  He made references to Jesus and His commandments to treat each other fairly no matter our differences.  That we are here to help each other and learn compassion.  He did express sorrow at his dads narrow-mindedness, but really at this point who could blame him? His dad responded with a whole slew of his perceived ills in the world that were caused by people being broad-minded. Among them were the collapse of the Garden of Eden and Rome, “napollians” reign, and the United States as we know it now.  Are you as confused as I am?  He claimed his was not a racist opinion, it was cold hard truth and he better realize this because it would vastly affect not only my friends future but also his children’s future.  Dear God, let’s hope so!  And thank you for not letting this fathers opinion not sway his own children.

Now you would think this would be enough wouldn’t you?  It wasn’t.  In response to my friends argument for being more like Jesus and spreading tolerance the father then made an extremely crude remark regarding Jesus and the homosexual act that was highly inappropriate and really has nothing to do with the original argument.  This prompted his daughter to post what I was thinking in a milder form.

She said, “I hope I don’t turn out like you as a parent.”

Amen to that sista.  When someone commented on how calm my friend stayed, his reply was priceless.

He said, “He’s still my dad though, and I love him.  No matter the different opinions.”

And so you should my friend, so you should.

So here I am writing about an issue that has been weighing heavy on my heart and mind.  Up until now I have straddled the fence.  Loving and supporting my gay friends and family but not loudly.  In my heart I am in, one hundred percent because I feel it is God’s place, not mine to judge and honestly I don’t see the difference.  And before my religious friends try to convince me I am committing some great sin in saying this, please stop and think.  I am not a person who comes to decisions lightly.  I weigh them heavily, I pray, I meditate.  I have a very close relationship with my God.  It may not fit your criteria but it doesn’t have to.  I don’t answer to you.  I don’t feel the need to agree with all of your opinions or expect you to agree with mine.  So love me, pray for me, disown me if you must.  I will still love you.

I believe that every person on the planet should have the same rights, including the right to marry and live in open harmony with their chosen mate.  I believe in Separation of Church and State.  I believe if there is no separation then no ones rights are safe.  If you give permission to make laws based on one persons religion then you are subject to that same fate if someone of a different religion comes into power.  Remember that the next time you want to withhold a right from someone.  I also believe that if everyone followed the basic commandments of the bible, they would not have time to be making this an issue.

To my young friend, you know who you are…thank you for having the courage to stand up for your beliefs.  It gave me the courage to stand up for mine.  I love you.



PS – In the aftermath of this post you would expect this young friend would be on other threads talking about it to his friends, possibly saying all the things he really wanted to say right?  Want to know what he is really doing?  Researching the history of marriage so he can better understand.  We need more people like this.  That is the world I want to live in.


Medical marijuana versus recreational marijuana or “just trust God”. January 27, 2012

Hi, my name is Sam, and I smoke weed…legally.  Does this statement infuriate you?  Does it call into question my relationship with God?  Does it make it my fault that you have loved ones who have abused drugs?  Apparently, there are some people who would say yes to those statements.

I don’t even really know where to begin with this one.  It all started with a Facebook post.  A young friend made a comment about the medical marijuana bill being brought up in Kansas.  Her statement was, in my opinion, confusing the issue of legalizing marijuana across the board and the issue of making it legal medicinally.  I made a comment imploring her to really study the issue and educate herself before voting down something that has had such an impact on my life.  I did not try to force her to change her thinking to mirror mine.  I simply asked her to research the issue and offered to answer any questions regarding my experience.  I think, regardless of anyones personal opinion, that this is a valid request.  We have a responsibility to know every possible benefit/detriment to the votes we cast before we cast them.

The ensuing posts were disturbing to me.  One person who disagreed with my post, and keep in mind, I am completely open to people disagreeing with me, simply could not separate the two issues.  I am fairly convinced due to his responses that he is coming from a place of hurt and disappointment.  I can relate to that, I can understand that but I do not understand the need to attack the person who has a different opinion and place question about their faith in God because of it.

My question to him after his argument, was I thought, well thought out, reasonable and deserved to be answered.  This person has a son with type I Diabetes, just like me.  I asked him if his son were in the same situation I was (which is possible since mine is a side effect of type I Diabetes) and had gone four years trying everything modern medicine had to offer with little relief and debilitating side effects and the suggestion of medicinal marijuana were made and proved to be an answer to the problem and gave his son back his life, would he deny him that treatment?  He did not answer this question, he did not do any research, he used his personal experience with people who use illegal drugs recreationally to justify his reasoning.

He referred to humans being able to justify anything.  I have nothing to justify, the facts speak for themselves.  I went thru every possible solution with no relief.  Medicinal marijuana fixed the problem and gave me my life back, legally.  How is that justifying illegal drug use?  He cited his sister as having died from a long life of pot and prescription  drug use.  Well which one killed her?  Either way I am betting there were other mitigating factors and abuse of the drugs in question.  How does my using it in a responsible and medicinal way in any way justify her choices?  He compared his son who is using pot illegally and recreationally as having the same belief about it as I do.  I find that offensive, I in no way shape or form endorsed illegal drugs, be it pot or any other, so how can you compare my beliefs to his?  He ended by saying “so no excuses please.  You believe what you want.  I would seek God for the truth.”  Previously in the thread he had said that “as for chronic pain, they should be looking to what is causing it.  Something we are doing to ourselves is the cause of the pain.  God is our healer anyway.”  What does that mean exactly?  That I did something to cause my type I Diabetes?  Something I am doing is causing the debilitating flare-ups?  God is punishing me?  What does that mean?

There are so many things I could say about this.  I am struggling to keep emotion out of it because I believe in facts, I believe in experience, I believe God gives us the means to help ourselves.  I believe sitting around just waiting for God to heal you is contradictory to the bible.  I believe in healing, I believe in prayer, I believe in God.  I believe that before you judge me on whether or not I am following God regarding my health that you should know what I went thru, what I go thru on a daily basis.  I believe you should know how much time I spent on my knees in prayer regarding whether or not to try the medical marijuana.  I believe you should know that what God has planned for you may not be what he has planned for me.  I believe placing me in the same category as people who use marijuana illegally is ignorant.

Here’s the thing, I have a hard time believing God has a problem with marijuana, seeing as how He created it, we have receptors in our brain for it, it is most beneficial in its natural form and it has so many medical benefits that are being scientifically documented as we speak.  Obviously the laws are not working or the person in question’s son would not be smoking pot illegally right?  But again, that is not the issue at hand.  Medical Marijuana laws and legalizing pot across the board are two different issues.

All I am asking is that the people of Kansas or any other state that has the issue coming up for election, do the research.  Be rational and open-minded to the facts and research.  Do some studying on the history of marijuana, why it is illegal, what the ramifications of medical marijuana being available or denied are.  Make up your mind from an open and educated place.  Not from ignorance or personal experience with a pothead who is irresponsible.  Please.  Would you vote to make alcohol illegal because your uncle was a drunk who beat his wife?  Probably not.  I would hope you would make that decision based on a broader experience than that.  Would you vote to outlaw prescription narcotics because your aunt abused them and sold them on the black market?  Probably not, right?  Well then why would you vote down medical marijuana for those same reasons?  Just because it was improperly classified during a time not so long ago, 1937, of political, racial and personal agendas.  Do the research.  You will be surprised.  I was.  That is all I am asking.  If you do the research and still disagree with voting yes for medical marijuana, then bravo for you and your choice.  Just please keep in mind that a vote is something that affects everyone and you have to put yourself in a variety of situations theoretically speaking to make conscious choices.  That is all I am asking.  Is that too much?  I really hope not.

I am also more than willing to share any and all information regarding my experience with becoming a medical marijuana patient.  I will answer any question.  Really, even the ones I disagree with.  😉




What just happened? or customer service, what customer service? January 23, 2012

I am a green minded person, I try to recycle, upcycle, shop local and all that jazz but I have to voice my displeasure and pass on what happened to me at Speedway Thrift Shop today. Actually, it all started Friday. I decided that the purses I craft are gonna be earth friendly also.  I came up with the idea to recycle good quality hardware from thrift store purses. I found several at Speedway Thrift that would work great. I also found this amazing belt that had conchos that slid onto the belt that would have been perfect for using as the sliders on the straps of my purses. It was tagged at $4.98. It was a fair price and would give me sliders for eight purses.  Awesome!

I made my way to the register. As I was putting everything on the counter to pay I accidentally ripped the tag off the belt by catching it on the counter. The cashier saw it happen. She then tells me she can’t sell it to me. Apparently they cannot sell anything without the tag attached. Sounded silly to me since it happened right there at the register but I say “ok, so what do we do now?” Four people later they were still telling  me I cannot buy the belt until Monday and if I want it that is the only way. I was miffed and thinking , that is a really stupid policy. The one who seemed the most in charge said if I came in early she would make sure I got it.
So this morning I set out to go in there and get the belt.  I look on the rack, no belt.   I looked for and found the girl who told me to come back and she says, “sure I’ll go look.” But not before she makes a few purchases of her own, works the register and helps 2 other people. She finally goes into the back and finds the belt and says it hasn’t been retagged yet. I give her the hairy eyeball and she says, “I’ll go back and ask her to tag it now.” 45 minutes later, I am not exaggerating, she comes back with the tagged belt. She says, “you are not gonna like this.”  That was an understatement.  The tag says $24.95. I amazingly did not yell but said very calmly, “are you kidding me?” She replied, “I know right, she looked it up online and said it is a Brighton and never should have been priced that low.” I answered, “I don’t care if it’s Armani, the tag said $4.98 on Friday and I am only paying $4.98. It is not my fault that it was tagged too low, it was torn off at the register in front of your employee and now I feel like your manager is taking advantage of the fact that I came back to buy it. Your employee made the mistake in tagging it wrong and I made a second trip down here, I want to speak to the manager.”  She says ok and disappears behind the door again.

10 minutes later she comes back and says, “she will only come down to $15.”  I said, “I want to speak to the manager, now, this is wrong.” She said, “I know, you are right, but she is not gonna budge.”  I again tell her I want to speak to the manager.  She heads into the back again and another 10 minutes goes by.  When she returns, she says,  “She will not go lower than $15.  She looked it up online to show me how expensive it is and she said to tell you she is on the phone with the owner and will not be out for a very long time.”  Now I was pissed. I told her I did not appreciate being taken advantage of and wasting an hour and a half of my time to do so.  And I would not be shopping there ever again.  She just kept nodding and agreeing with me.  All she could do I suppose.

What kind of business is that?  It is a thrift shop I realize but don’t fair business practices sort of flow over into all kinds of business?  They should anyway.  I will not be shopping there ever again and if any of you do I caution you to make sure the tag doesn’t fall off of anything you really want to buy there. Sheesh! Grrrr…

Ok, I feel better now, thanks for listening.  I will now follow my own personal mantra of , everything happens for a reason.  The purses will be better off without them and there are plenty of other thrift shops out there that will treat me fairly.  Take that you mean old thrift store!  LOL


Sam 😉


Purple hair, piercings and all things punk, or “yeah, that’s my daughter, what about it?” June 4, 2011

I would like to take a moment to implore everyone everywhere to open your minds. Just a little, not enough to damage your delicate sensibilities but just enough to see another side to things.  Come along with me if you will to an experience I have had the misfortune to encounter many times in the last few years…

My little clan and I were treating ourselves to a much anticipated dinner out.  Chinese I believe it was…nom nom nom.  We were all in good spirits, not unusual for us, but we were especially enjoying each others company on this evening.  We rock!  We headed into one of our fave places, placed our order and chose our seats.

I am a bit claustrophobic when it comes to seating.  My family is fabulously accommodating in this area, so they all waited for me to choose my seat and then they settled in theirs.  Naturally I chose to sit in an outside row of the place, giving me a birdseye view of any stealth attacks coming my way.  Those of you who suffer from this ailment know exactly what I mean and those of you who don’t…well, just be thankful and keep reading.

My little Doobie, my 13 yr old, was seated across from me.  She is a gem.  Straight A student, polite, compassionate, funny, talented.  Oh so talented, she is currently writing a couple of books, writes songs and poems in nothing flat, is an excellent artist and has style and moxy oozing from her pores.  She makes the world a better place and anyone who has the chance to spend any time at all talking with her comes away awed and smiling.  I am not exaggerating.  Ask anyone who knows her.

Now, I was an extremely creative teenager myself.  I liked to express myself in my clothing.  Doesn’t everyone?  I mean you wear high heels because of how they feel or maybe you are a jeans and converse type cuz they show off your casualness and athletic ability.  The point is, most people dress according to their own personal style and personality right?  I however grew up in a very different time and was not allowed to fully express my inner creativity outwardly.  As a result, I am pretty lenient when it comes to my kids wardrobes and style.  I have rules, no indecent showing of the assets above or below, must look as close to their age as possible, and no offensive clothing.

And this is where society and myself come to the parting of the minds.  Apparently I am not as easily offended and the rest of the world is.  LOL  C’mon people, purple hair, fishnets, combat boots and piercings are not offensive.  You do not have to like them, my daughter is not looking for your approval.  Nor is she attacking you or society as a whole when she steps out as her punky self.  She is merely putting on her personality, strutting her stuff, living out loud.  I applaud her for it.  I even like most of what she wears.  When I look at her all dressed to go, I just see little bits of her personality rising to the top so to speak.  I can tell how sassy she feels or how tired or sulky, all depending on how she presents herself.  If you take a minute to look around you, you might find you can do this with the people you know as well.

On this particular outing she was feeling very sassy and was wearing maroon combat boots, ripped up fishnets, long cut off shorts, a cut up t-shirt, metal studded suspenders hanging down and a lip ring.  I believe her hair was purple then and growing out from a faux hawk.  She may have had bows with skulls in her hair as well.  See picture for a visual of her fishnets complete with roller derby pins holding them together.

We are laughing and joking and having a good time when I notice for the fourth or fifth time a woman across the restaurant looking at us in a disgusted manner and gesturing in our direction while making obviously derogatory comments to the gentleman she was sitting with.

At this point I am getting annoyed.  I tried to imagine I was imagining it.  I tried ignoring it.  I tried telling myself she was just ignorant.  Enough already, I looked in her direction and gave her what I hoped was a look that said, do you mind?”  Apparently she didn’t.  She stared right back in a most defiant manner.  Really???  I shook my head and focused back on our little party.  I must insert here that Doobie, handles this much better than I do.  She just laughs it off.  The Usband is getting annoyed but is better at ignoring things than I am.  In the interest of not wasting anymore family time on a rude woman I don’t know, I simply gave her one more look and smiled my biggest smile at her and waved.  She was not impressed.  They left and we had a great evening.

Here’s my question.  We are all guilty of judging people, even those of us that try really hard not to and that includes me.  But could we not try to limit those judgements to something worthy of judgement like, oh I don’t know, actions, or words maybe?  Certainly we can all look past a lip ring can’t we?  Doobie’s is fake BTW, I told you I had rules.  😉  Honestly, look at the two pictures below and tell me what is really the difference between these two girls?

  The one on the left is a straight A student, well loved by her teachers and family.  Trusted by all who know her.  Compassionate and loving.  She is talented and smart and loves animals.  She is funny and loves Jesus.  And guess what?  So does this one…–>>>

So really…what’s the big deal???I like them both, they are both my Doob and I wouldn’t have her any other way!

Slainte’  ~Sam


The motorcycle and the cell phone or the idiot on the bike. June 3, 2011

Ok so yesterday I am driving on a major roadway in town.  I pull up to a stop light and get in the left hand turning lane to wait for the light to change.  I notice in front of me a young guy in his mid twenties, I would say, on a motorcycle of the crotch rocket variety.  You know the kind where you lean forward to reach the handles that require both hands to properly maneuver the bike.  And safely maneuver the bike I might add. I notice he has his head tilted at an odd angle.

My 13 yr old,

who is in the back seat, says, “please tell me that guy is not talking on his cell phone while on a motorcycle?!?”  I take a closer look and sure enough, he is.  He has both hands on the handles and has the phone tucked into his neck talking hands free.  So I am thinking, surely he doesn’t think he is gonna be able to keep talking when the light changes and he has to accelerate?  That phone is gonna go flying.  Shamelessly I am looking forward to seeing this scenario play out.  

Now let me just take a moment to update you on my stance before I lambaste this guy.  I have been known to talk on the cell while driving.  I don’t make a habit of it and I really try not to at all unless stopped at a light and then I get off quickly.  In fact my brother yelled at me just this past week for talking to him while I was driving.  I have not done it since, thank you very much brother o’mine!  So I am not any kind of fanatic about it.  But Oprah would be proud that I never text while driving.  I do believe in safety first.

Anyway back to Mr. crotch rocket.   At this point, myself and my two girls are eagerly watching to see what is going to happen next.  Let’s just say it wasn’t pretty and would have been down right comical had there not been so much danger involved.  The traffic light cycles through the green and red and gives us the green arrow to turn.  You can see the light bulb dawn even through the back of his head as he realizes he will not be able to accelerate and keep the phone lodged firmly on his shoulder.  In one fluid motion, well, fluid is giving him too much credit, he actually lurched into the intersection and proceeded to drive with one hand on the bike and one on the phone.

Have you ever driven a motorcycle?  This is not the smartest move.  But amazingly he continues to do it.  Even when he has trouble keeping it upright, trouble keeping it in one lane and can apparently only allow himself to do a fraction of the speed limit.  Bumper to bumper traffic getting extremely frustrated at this guy because they are stuck behind him and afraid to go around because he keeps drifting into the other two lanes.  Are you kidding me?  Now I am obsessed with watching how long this guy can keep this up.  You know it’s like a train wreck, you just can’t look away.  He did actually drive like this through three major intersections with all his fellow drivers throwing looks that could kill in his direction.  He is completely oblivious.  Must have been some phone call.

I am sorry to say I have no idea the final outcome or how long he stayed on the phone because at the fourth light I had to turn.  As I waited for a clear path I watched this crazy man bob and weave thru traffic never taking the phone from his ear, thinking…If I weren’t driving and could have gotten a picture on my cell phone of this guy, it would so be getting emailed to Oprah!  Boy would he be in trouble!!!

😉 Slainte’, ~Sam